Thursday, 9 May 2013

Fight


So, I don't really know where your at, or what your fighting with and wrestling with, but im fairly sure there will be something. 
If I'm honest, I'm pretty tired of fighting today, and I'm feeling pretty weak and tired. Ok, tired isnt the word, I'm completely shattered, and not seeing anything I'm fighting for becoming a reality and becoming worth the level of effort I'm putting in! Anyway, that all sounds very negative, I know, but bear with...(couldn't resist a little miranda in there, sorry!). So, I was feeling rubbish, and decided to try and put paper to pen and write a poem, and halfway through the poem it occured to me that now that I'd accepted how weak I was, it meant I had the oppertunity to see how strong God is (Yes, I know some of you have been trying to show me for a while, but its clicked a little now). So here is a poem I wrote, its called Fight, and I hope somehow it helps with your fight.

Fight
Its never ending,
The fight inside,
A constant battle,
My will agaisnt mine.

I try and fight,
Push you further back,
But the results dont show,
And fight then I lack.

You whisper and twist,
All different words in my brain,
I thought I was winning,
But I've lost this again.

I thought I'd let go,
But that was just one hand,
And I was decieved,
You re-took your stand.

I try and try,
And I lose and lose,
I've lost more of myself,
And my hope has left too.

I want control,
But I want freedom too,
I want my life back,
And I don't want you.

I don't want you twisting,
Distorting my mind,
I want the truth,
To have power inside.

I want to stand,
To walk away,
My face turned to God,
In his hands I'll stay.

So goodbye, forever,
The battle is won,
I will take small steps,
Because of God's Son.

With each little step,
A brighter light shines,
Pace by pace,
I'll leave you behind.

One day I will be completely free,
Because my saviour died for me,
Until that day I will keep stepping into light,
Strengthened by God for each bit of the fight.


So that is my poem, and that is my prayer. I want those things, and today its hard to see them, but I want to. 

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