Sunday, 22 May 2016


On Wednesday day I lost a close friend to suicide, the third friend I've lost this way in the last 2 years, all in different circumstances, but all with the same ending. I struggle to find the words to express how painful it is to lose someone, I'm sure many of you know, in fact I know a lot of you do, because a lot of you are going through this with me right now, because Sarah touched so many lives and brought light and kind words into the darkest of places. Sarah fought so many hard battles, physically and mentally, she was so brave and strong. The pain of this all must have gotten to much, it does sometimes, and Sarah chose to leave. It breaks my heart that I wont receive texts or messages from her anymore, I half expect her to pop up and say shes alive and for that message to wake me up and this all be a nightmare, but I have to face that that won't happen. She isn't in pain anymore, she isn't suffering and struggling. We will always remember her, we will always love and cherish our memories of her, and we will continue to fight the fight in her memory.

For me songs and lyrics really express this best and are constantly swimming round my head at this time, so I've included some pictures with lyrics and some songs that I either think of right now or need to hear right now, and so I wanted to share so others could to. Please feel free to share any songs or lyrics that come to mind for you.

I love you Sarah, RIP beautiful xx 

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Children that don't have to recover from their childhood & self harm awareness day

I haven't written a blog post in a long time, but as I sit in a cafe in London waiting for my friend to have an interview I find myself writing here again.

Something that has been on my mind for a while is the posts I see a lot of on Facebook saying "I will raise a child who doesn't have to recover from their childhood", which I think is a great sentiment but initially, but the more I think about it the more I feel strongly that this is an unrealistic statement. Not because any of the parents posting it don't have the best intentions for their child, but because the reality of life is that unexpected things happen and it isn't all in the control of the parents. Even the best parents can't protect their child from everything, but they can teach them how to deal with difficulties and emotions and get stronger because of them. There are so many things out of our control in life it feels almost naive to say that we can guarantee that anyone we love will not have to recover from aspects of life, because we can't stop the bad. I can see how this could lead to stress and even mental health problems or feeling like a failure if your child gets sick or hurt. I'd love for no one to have to recover form aspects of life, but I accept that's unrealistic.

To all you parents out there, your doing a fabulous job, and I'm sure your children will grow up and learn valuable lessons from you and from life, and to me that's important.

There have been things in my past that I have had to overcome and there will be things in my future and I will recover from them and get past them and learn and so will you. We can't prevent that, but we can keep going, so do keep going.

This also comes on self harm awareness day, and as many young people struggle with self harm I want to say to them that they are not alone, and that it's OK to have to recover from parts of life, but do keep fighting for that recovery, your doing great, and I'm always here. To those of you who care about someone who self harm, you are also not alone, and it isn't your fault, keep being there and listening and caring. For those parents out there who worry about children growing up and struggling with self harm, teach them how to deal with emotions, and let them know your always there.

Those are my thoughts for today.